Frozen pizza that doesn’t suck: Amy’s

Some evenings, after a hard day’s work, one does not feel up to preparing Herb-Roasted Rack of Lamb with Flageolet Gratin, Roasted Radicchio, and Tapenade for dinner. One prefers instead to throw a frozen pizza into a 425° oven and eat it from paper plates about 20 minutes later in front of the TV.

The downside of such a plan is the fact that most frozen pizzas are godawful crap, consisting of some sort of coagulated grease atop a “crust” of parchment paper. There is immediate apprehension and chest constriction upon eating the product, and then toxic acid spewing from the victim’s throat later on at 2:13 a.m.

Our solution is a pizza from Amy’s Kitchen (no connection to my charming wife, other than that she first discovered these at Woodman’s in Kenosha). Amy’s pizzas are “natural and organic” (not usually a hallmark of delicious comfort food), and they’re a little pricey at $7 for a nine-and-a-half-inch pie. The labeling claims that one pizza serves three, but we typically split one. Left to my own devices, I can vanish the whole thing.

According to their Web site, Amy’s offers 18 different pizzas, including some that I have tried and do not like. Pesto, in particular, is never a good idea unless it’s made fresh, and I’m still not sure it belongs on a pizza at all.

The item I do recommend is Amy’s “Mediterranean Pizza with Cornmeal Crust.” The crust is the what keeps me coming back. The cornmeal is crunchy and buttery-tasting, and it’s the perfect match for the tomatoes, roasted vegetables, and three cheeses. Only now, writing this, have I noticed that there’s no meat on this pizza. I swear I never missed it.

The best part is that you get a tasty and satisfying meal without any labor, and you still feel perfectly healthy and happy afterward. Why wouldn’t you? You’ve just eaten organic tomatoes, organic wheat flour, organic cornmeal, filtered water, part skim mozzarella cheese, organic extra virgin olive oil, green olives, mushrooms, organic fire roasted green zucchini, and so on. It’s not especially light in calories (1,080 for the whole pizza), but it is low in cholesterol and carbs, free of preservatives and trans fat, and there are no dishes to wash — except, of course, for the pizza cutter and the glasses from the Two Buck Chuck.