The Allstate Mayhem commercial series has burrowed deep into my head. I saw the “Raccoon Mayhem” commercial above a couple of days ago. Then, this morning at about 2:30, I heard either a large raccoon or a small horse tramping across our roof above my bed. All I could think of for the rest of the night was actor Dean Winters tearing into our attic insulation and ripping nasty holes in our roofing.

In the light of mid-morning, Amy held our extension ladder while I took our 12-foot Fiskars pruning saw up above the second floor it to trim off a few of the birch branches that had grown too close to our home, affording the masked mammals easy access.

As the wind gusted and the extended fiberglass pole tipped precariously away from me, I swear I could hear Dean Winters on our lawn, mocking our 15-minute car insurance company with the sound of an approaching ambulance in the distance.

Happily, no actual mayhem occurred today. The branches are pruned, our roofing appears to be intact, and our attic has not been breached — but boy, these ads really make a deep emotional impression.

This one — “Lawn Game Mayhem” — is still my favorite Allstate Mayhem commercial.

I just like the way Winters says, “Sorry, Robert.”

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